Back to normal feelings:

Just as my brain-doctor (psychiatrist) predicted, almost six months to the day of my stroke, the feeling of euphoria started to subside. The feeling of “I can overcome anything that life throws at me”, is gradually replaced by doubt and anxiety. But I know the warning signs by now. After a visit to my psychiatrist, we decide to slightly increase the dose of the medication. But we have to be very careful not to increase the blood pressure levels at the same time.
Isn’t it amazing that exactly at the time where you need the highest spirits, your body gives it to you. Of course I would much prefer not to have any depression at all! Oh well, I’m happy with anything I can get at the moment.
It was so wonderful to feel like I’m 20 again, ready to face anything, armed and ready to change the world; less the anxiety of approval. Boy, was I glad to be back my old self again, albeit for six months. An experience I can draw energy from for many many years.
We continue the new slightly increased level of medicine until the summer.
Meanwhile, I discover something. The increased level of medication has a startling effect: My brain seems to respond better. I seem to speak better. Now, whether this is because of serotonin level increase in the brain that promotes neural connections, or because I have a higher quality of sleep now, I don’t know. I only know that there is a correlation. I don’t know the causality. It is a question for the science community to answer,
One thing remains certain though, however much you try to reach a patient, you cannot reach her unless her brain is open to help. Unless the chemical set-up in the brain allow her to be open to receive therapy. If you are depressed (and a lot of people are after a stroke), how can you be upbeat about doing any exercise? First you have to treat the mindset, then you can treat her.