Thursday, January 22, 2009


Towards the end of the first week at home, I have one more encounter in mind: The encounter with the computer. I am a bit afraid of that. Because, just as I have difficulty with writing and math,I fear whether I'm able to recognize the interaction with the computer. Everything I used to do before is a question mark in my mind. Will I be able to do it - to think it, to feel it - as I used to do? I sneak into the guest room, where the family computer is. I remember to turn it on - that is easy. The screen comes up, I move the mouse around, click on some things, that is also OK, I can navigate the several buttons and drop down menus. This all make sense to me, I remember what the are for. Now I go to the Internet to find out whether I can send any e-mail. Boy, my friends will be so happy to get news directly from me. OK, click on yahoo, click on mail...
Uh Oh! There comes the user id and the password prompts. For the first time I look at the keyboard: what a mess! I don't recognize any of the letters. Now, you must understand, I wasn't a fluent typist before either, but I could navigate around the keyboard. Now all is Chinese to me (and I don't know any Chinese, mind you). I know the password by heart; let's say it is "daisy12", I know that it start with the letter "d", and then "a", "i", "s" etc. I am trying to match the letter "d" in my mind, to the letter "d" on the key board. they are 88 buttons on the keyboard. I am scrutinizing each and every button, in order to see, whether there is anything that will match what I have in mind for a "d". And in the end I give up trying, there is no "d" in sight, or rather, I don't know what a "d" looks like; it could look like this "@" or this "%" or this "öİ" as far as me is concerned.

Mehmet comes and helps me with the password and stuff... At least now, even if I cannot remember how to write - even with the key board - I can read my mail, that is great, in and on itself. Plus, I am eager to relearn my ABC's, perfect timing because now my son (3 years old at the time), can learn it together. He already knows more than I, so he can teach me!

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