Monday, December 17, 2007

to angio or not to angio


The following morning the doctors come with an important suggestion: They want to make an angiogram of carotid artery, post mortem (!), and see what has caused the stroke in the first place. It will not play any role in my recovery. As far as we could see from the MRI, there is a child's fist size dead region right in and around the broca's area of my brain, which will not recover. This is my brain's picture you see on the left hand side.
They say this is important to prevent other strokes in the future. But it leaves us with an important question: To angio or not. Because there is a 1% chance the the operation will cause another blood cloth that may go into the brain once again. The doctors insist that it is the best course of action. As Mehmet is the physician in our family, I leave the decision to him. And thus I put him in such a difficult position. So difficult... he has to decide about my future... Although I'm physically there, seemingly alright,but because I cannot voice my opinion in any intelligent way, people around me are not sure of my comprehension skills. Heck, even I'm not sure of my comprehension skills! It is much harder to decide in behalf of a loved one.

In the end we go with the doctors suggestion. After they leave my room, Mehmet comes to my bedside, takes my hands into his and tells me :" Whatever happens, Banu, I will always take care of you! Always!". However corny this may sound, it fills my heart with tenderness and love for him.

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